“Please promise me you will find happiness, that you will be okay, that you will find love again.” These are some of the words my late husband would say to me before he passed away, and at the time, they were almost impossible for me to truly absorb. The thought of being happy again, of ever being okay, or even imagining finding love after such a deep loss—it all seemed distant, foreign, and unimaginable.
In those early days of grief, the world felt empty. His words, though spoken with love, felt like something I couldn’t yet reach. But as the months passed, and the process of healing slowly began, something in me started to shift. I held onto his words, even when they felt too heavy, knowing deep down that they were a reflection of his heart for me. He didn’t want me to remain in that place of sorrow forever—he wanted me to find my way back to joy, to life.
I began to realize that those promises weren’t just for him—they were for me. He wanted me to live fully again, to discover happiness in the world, and to allow myself to experience love once more. In moments of quiet reflection, I often thought about what I would want if the roles were reversed. If it had been me who had passed first, I would want nothing less than for my loved ones to live fully, to embrace the beauty of life again. I would want them to smile, to laugh, and to find peace in the days ahead.
That’s when I understood the depth of his words. He wasn’t asking me to forget him, or to move on without remembering the life we shared. Instead, he was giving me permission to carry his love with me while opening my heart to the possibilities that still awaited me. He wanted me to thrive, not just survive.
It took time, and there were many days when I wasn’t sure I could keep those promises. But as healing continued, as I allowed myself to grieve and to grow, I began to see that I could honor his wishes in a way that didn’t diminish the love we had. I could be happy again, even with the loss. I could be okay, even with the heartache. And I could find love, not in the way I had before, but in a way that was new, different, and still deeply meaningful.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, and moving forward doesn’t mean leaving behind the love we’ve lost. It means living in a way that honors the memory of the one who is no longer with us, while still allowing ourselves to embrace the life that lies ahead.
Now, I carry his words with me daily. They remind me of the love he had for me and the life he wanted me to live. And in those moments when I felt the weight of the loss, I would think of his voice gently reminding me: “Please promise me you will be happy, that you will be okay, that you will find love again.” And I hold onto that promise—not just for him, but for myself.
I don’t know where you are in your grief journey, but I hope you find some comfort in knowing that your loved one would want you to be happy. It might feel impossible to imagine right now, with the weight of your loss pressing down so heavily. But please, hold on to this thought. Even in your darkest moments, remember that the love you shared was meant to lift you up, not hold you back. Your loved one would want you to find peace, to smile again, and to live a life full of joy when you are ready. Keep that in your heart as you navigate this path, one step at a time.
